Reasons Why I'm Single

My eight year old self thought I would be with the love of my life by the time I was twenty, and married to him by the time I was twenty three.

The idea is so incredibly comical now. If I'm not with friends on a Friday night, I'm in my dorm stuffing my face with Domino's or Jimmy John's. I don't have the faintest idea if I've met the love of my life, or if he is a stranger. Or if he even exists. Or if he is actually a she.

I mean, I've dated before... a litte. But I feel like people treat me as though I have NO insight whatsoever on this stuff just because I've never been in a long-term relationship. I know I'll feel differently about being in long term relationships once I find the right person, but why is it so bad if I want to be a free little bird until I'm... 30?

Yeah, that sounds good. I think that once people find their significant other, it's hard to imagine life without them.

But I want to travel during and after college. I want to move to interesting places and not feel like I'm leaving someone behind or dragging them with me. I've seen so many couples enjoy having their space, but what if that's not the kind of relationship I end up getting in to? What if longing and nostalgia end up inhibiting or ruining my travels? What if I come back to someone, and it turns out they hadn't been waiting for me?

I want to spend more time with my friends. Friendships are light-hearted, less exclusive, and non-physical (sort of) relationships that are of infinite value. I have seen SO many peers cling to their significant others so tightly that they forget how important it is to just spend time with their friends. College is where you find your bridesmaids, not your groom. Sometimes.

I don't need another thing to worry about. On top of balancing my classes, my Resident Advisor job, extracurriculars, and keeping in touch with friends and family... well, as my good friend Arianna Grande would say, I got one less problem without you.

At the age of 20, I've got a decent idea of who I am and how I operate. But I've still got a good deal of figuring things out that I need to do. Then I can be more secure in a relationship. Being the youngster that I am, I tend to get bored quickly with people I start dating. This has a few exceptions, but is that risk fair?

Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of coming home to someone that makes me happy, and I like having someone to think about when my day starts going south. It's something that's on my mind a lot, and I bitch AT LEAST once a day about being single and bitter. I often with I had someone who was obligated to listen to my feelings and think I'm the best person in the world. But isn't that all the more reason I should be waiting to settle down?

I don't believe in soul mates. There is probably someone who would make me happy in Denver, and someone who would make me equally as happy in Madrid. No matter where I end up, I'll eventually find someone "perfect."

I hope none of this sounded like I was bashing anyone who dates in college. If that's what makes my peers happy, then that's fantastic. Relationships shouldn't be inhibiting, but with everything I want to do, one would be. For now. Maybe tomorrow I'll meet someone special. Who knows? But there's nothing ignorant about enjoying the idea of freedom. I've got a few experiences I need to have before I lay in bed next to someone thinking "...what if?"

Possibly Appropriate First Post

So, I had a blog once my freshman year of college, but I still have NO idea how to start this off.

It feels strange because I'm assuming only my friends and family are ever going to look at this. But I think I'm supposed to talk about who I am and why I'm writing this.

My name is Mariel. I just turned 20 yesterday. I'm studying writing in Michigan's upper peninsula, and I should have my bachelor's degree by May of 2016 (hopefully...).

I really love writing. Why else would I be dedicating four years of my life to studying a discipline with almost NO job prospect without grad school? But I feel like I don't have a way to share most of what I write. So it just gets tossed out. I think I'd be more motivated if I knew people would look at it.
I over-analyze anything and everything. I am strong in my opinions, and try to keep them to myself unless I'm asked for them, but that doesn't always work. I'm overly emotional, and neither ashamed nor afraid to tell the world how I'm actually feeling.

Social media these days is all about putting out the best version of ourselves. From having the best job to being well-traveled, we need to be... awesome? Yeah, I think so.

I want people to know what actually goes on in my mind. Nothing better or worse than what what is there. I want the words on this space to be honest.

And if we're being REALLY honest... I've been a vegetarian for five years. And I really want a hot dog right now. This happens more than I'll usually admit.